Millennial Manifesto

We are the Millennials.

Entitled, lazy, narcissistic, the Me Me Me Generation.

We are lazy because we see how hard our parents work to gain so little and refuse to be a cog in that machine. We put our energies into things that can't be contained between 9 and 5.

We are entitled because we refuse to just be citizens and demand to be people.

We are narcissistic and, therefore, won't have midlife crises or any of the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. We might be the first generation to live our lives how we want to live them.

We refuse to buy houses because we saw how they imprisoned our parents.

We are technology dependent because we understand relationships are no longer trapped by geography, but can be freed by mutual passions.

We live with our parents because we refuse to add to our years of indentured servitude to our school loans.

We are the Me Generation because we know what the "common good" has brought us: war, recession, NSA, Patriot Act, CAFOs, Comcast, and Monsanto.

We understand a We Generation is just a 1% Generation.

We are young. We will make mistakes. But we have time to figure it out. You're worried about the world you'll be giving us soon. What you don't realize is that world won't work for this generation. It is going to change because society is made up of people and this new group of young people can't live in your society.

Stop calling us the worst generation because we refuse to engage in your societal system. When the only options for new grads is an unpaid internship or competing with financially unstable retirees for retail jobs, can you blame us for trying to find a new way to, not only survive, but to live?